Growing Together, Growing Apart: Heartbeat - X/S
by Kylia
Summary: Fifth part of the GTGA series - Spike/Xander Slash


**TITLE: Heartbeat (1/1)  
SERIES: Growing Together, Growing Apart  
AUTHOR: Kylia (kylia_bug@yahoo.com)  
DISCLAIMER: Nobody belongs to me, unfortunately. They belong to Joss & Mutant Enemy, and a few other people I don't know.   
RATING: R  
SPOILERS: Restless  
CATEGORY: Spike/Xander   
SUMMARY: Spike ponders  
DISTRIBUTION: Fire & Ice Fic (http://fireicefic.cjb.net), Of Sire & Childe, List archives, anyone else, ask, and you shall receive. Previous parts can be found here: [Growing Together, Growing Apart][1]  
FEEDBACK: Definitely I need it to breathe.  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Comes after "[Conversations][2]" in my GTGA series. Spikes POV  
DEDICATION: To everyone who sent wonderful feedback.  
********** **

A heartbeat. That's the first thing I become aware of as I regain consciousness. But it's not just any heart. It's his. I've come to recognize it. It sounds different than any other heart I've ever heard beating. Steady, rhythmic, musical even.

I know he's close. I can smell him. A scent that's entirely unique to him. A scent my mind can pull out of a room anywhere at anytime. I can tell by the pattern of his breathing that he's awake, and if the odd sensation I'm feeling is any indication, he's watching me.

I open my eyes. His brown orbs are staring at me intently. He doesn't seem surprised to find I'm awake, nor does he avert his gaze. Instead he continues to stare at me intently.

"You're still here." I speak, not sure why I said those particular words.

After another minute of silence, his gaze moves away from me. He stands and turns towards the door. He's leaving. I can feel it, and I am gripped by an almost incapacitating fear, and I'm unsure why.

"You're leaving?" I ask, hissing to myself at the unfamiliar tone my voice has taken on.

Xander stops and turns around. "No, that's your department."

He disappears from my view as my mind tried to grasp what it is he was implying. I barely have time to register his having left before he is back again, this time with a mug. I take the warmed blood without question, and watch him watching me as I feed.

Some part of my mind notes how my feeding doesn't seem to bother him, and that pleases me for reasons I can't even comprehend. 

After several more moments of silence he joins me on the futon, staring straight ahead. Finally he speaks.

"Why did you leave?" He asks.

"You wanted me too." I tell him. It is partially true. I know that there is a trademark response I should be giving him about the hows and whys I left, but I also know that he wouldn't believe me, and I don't want him to.

"Why are you here?" I finally ask. I know the reason he came to Los Angeles, but that doesn't really explain why he's down here, in this studio apartment, saving me from another shining moment of drunken idiocy.

Xander turns to me then, a smirk on his lips, and for one moment I wonder exactly how much time he's spent with my sire, but then he shrugs and the smirk is gone.

"I was just returning the favor." He stands up and I realize this time he is leaving. I grab his wrist with enough force to set off my implant, but I can feel no pain. I pull be back down to the couch and he loses his balance, falling on top of me. He tries to extricate himself then, but I won't let him and when he looks up at him, our eyes meet, and we're barely inches apart. I can feel his breath against my cool skin. I'm leaning closer now, and I know he knows what happens next, but still he doesn't pull away.

When our lips meet its like nothing I have ever felt in all of my years. The pressure is light, fleeting even, and all too soon it is over. He tries to stand up, and this time I let him. He's walking away from me now, out of the room and up to the office and everything is silent once again.

As I lean back against the cushion of the futon, I wonder if I'll ever hear the sound of his heartbeat again.

Bloody Hell, I need another drink.

***** 

[**Return To Series Index**][3]

   [1]: http://www5.50megs.com/fireice/SpikeXander/Kylia/GrowingTogetherGrowingApart/seriesindex.html%20
   [2]: conversations4.html
   [3]: seriesindex.html



End file.
